Man shits himself after eating chicken at Porirua KFC reopening

Thousands of hungry Maori and Pacific Islanders have lined up outside KFC Porirua this morning for their reopening.

Today is the official relaunch of KFC Porirua and the crowds have travelled in droves to get a taste of that moist, greasy chicken. Newsgrub spoke to one woman, Heremia, who said that it was her benefit day today and she was glad that she could suck on some chicken bones.

Like its all fuckin’ well and good that they are open but it would be mean if they would accept WINZ Payment Cards. I got a food grant the other day and I had to go buy shit chicken from the Pak n’ Save.

Today I’m gonna treat myself with a K-Fry and head to the pokies and spend my rent money huhuhuhuhu.

Heremia Ratu – Porirua

One man reportedly ‘shat’ himself after eating the greasy chicken a staff member confirmed. Staff said he ate his XL Bucket and stood up and shit himself.

“He was obviously not wearing undies because the poo just came flying out his shorts” – KFC Staff Member


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